Hey Ed, Screw You!

Trying to live life...with a stupid ED in my head!

August 12, 2008


Well, I'm finally home! You guys had some really good discussions going while I was gone, and I loved reading them.
Someone mentioned that they got on the scale and it came out to be a number they didn't like, and this is something I'd like to talk about. In my opinion, scales should be thrown out the window. I think that if you look in the mirror and a comfortable with what you see, then its fine. Of course everyone has their good and bad days but in the end how you feel about yourself should never come down to a number.

Alright. I had a lot of fun up north. There was a lot of ice cream involved, and on the last night I totally binged on spaghetti, breadsticks, pizza, more ice cream (peanut butter cup, my favorite!), brownies, chocolate syrup, Hershey kisses, and somehow I had about 4 biscuits. I have no idea, they just looked really yummy. Hah. I've never been a binger, but lately its been happening about once a week. Does anyone know why I might be doing this?

Today I want to ask something that some of us might need to really think about.
When you want to restrict yourself, binge, or purge, why do you want to do this?
I'm big on what others think of me (I know, I shouldn't be) and if someone doesn't like me, or says one negative thing about me, I immediatly want to restrict what I'm eating. So what does it for you?

Have an amazing day everyone!

August 02, 2008


I thought I'd have time to blog this morning but I really really don't! My alarm somehow didn't go off and I'm leaving in about half an hour and I just got out of the shower. I'm going up north until the 11th and I won't be near a computer until I come back.
Keep some discussions going and be supportive!
I'll talk to you all when I get back :)

August 01, 2008

Hi everyone :)
I know that some of you might be surprised that I told my entire dance team about my eating disorder, but it was something I though people needed to know about me. As we all know, EDs can come along with a lot of other things like anxiety, obsession, and moodiness. I wanted to make sure people knew why I am the way I am, and that its nothing against them. Everyone knows about my problem-friends, teachers, my coach, my entire family. To be honest, it is kind of embarassing sometimes when I have to depend on my parents to make me food at my age, and when I freak out if my plans don't go exactly according to schedule. People who know me know that I have always been a perfectionist, but I wasn't THAT perfect.
Onto the discussion...
First I went to a counselor who specialized in eating disorders (mostly in adults), and we felt that she didn't help me, she just blamed everything on my mom, which at that time was my mindset too. Next I went to a psychologist, who I loved, and I stayed with her for a while. My parents weren't very impressed with her because she was always getting appointment times mixed up, and making promises she didn't keep. Now, I'm set up to go to therapy with my nutrionist who is also a therapist. I don't LOVE her personality, but I'll try and see how things work out.

This is a question I've been wanting to ask because I'm really curious about it...
Has anyone been an actual place to recover from an ED? (not sure what that's called)
Have a GREAT day!

July 31, 2008

Morning =]

Good morning everyone! I've made the final decision not to post pictures of my food on here just because I don't think it is necessary. I'm really sorry to those who wanted the pictures, and I hope you will keep reading/discussing with us.

Thanks to those who answered my question yesterday. In my opinion, the people who have helped me deal with Ed the most is my dance team. They were my team last year, when I was just starting to develop an ED and have been with me every step of the way. They've seen me at my worst and my best. I tell them everything about it, and all I've gotton from them is positive encouragement. They became my family, and before every doctor's appointment, we would pray together, they'd tell me everything is going to be okay, and we would cry. All 10 of us. And when it got to the point where I almost got dance taken away from me, they made sure I was eating and always looked out for me. I'm thankful to have people in my life like that every single day.
Daisy brought up a good question...
How many of you who are reading this are currently in therapy?

July 30, 2008

First, I'd like to thank everyone for the support! It really does mean a lot to me. Next, I think I've changed my mind. I'm not going to post pictures of my meals or even say what I am eating, because then this would be just another food blog. I want this to be a support center, not a health food blog. Of course we can talk about food, but I want the main focus of this blog to be helping and encouraging each other. I hope that you guys still continue to read!

My day started off alright. I rolled out of bed around 7:45 and threw my hair on top of my head, changed, and, the best part of Wednesday mornings (sarcasm, of course), got on the scale. My mom weighs me because the nutritionist just wants to make sure that the eating plan is causing my weight to go up. Today I stayed the same (I stand backwards, but my mom tells me the direction we're moving in). Its quite discouraging, but over the weekend I did get a little big off track. Then I was off to dance team practice. I'm on the dance team for my high school. I LOVE to dance. Its been my favorite part of life since I was 5. We had a good practice, nothing too tiring. I had another loungy day; I even took a nap, which I hate doing. Now I am just hanging out until dinner, then my sister and I are going to the movies. We're either seeing Wanted or Step Brothers, I'm not quite sure yet. I'm hoping Step Brothers; I need a good laugh!

And I thought I'd open up a discussion...
Throughout dealing with your ED, who has been the most helpful to you? (mom, dad, friend, doctor, etc.) Discuss!

I also though I should introduce you guys to Otis, my 110 pound boxer. He's the cutest, sweetest dog, I swear. And yes, he wears a Coach collar =]

July 29, 2008

OMGZ, First Post!

Hi everyone! Welcome to Hey Ed, Screw You! This is a place where people with eating disorders can come, talk about things, get rid of frustration, ask questions, anything you want. It doesn't even have to be about eating disorders, because I am just a normal (well, for the most part) teenager who is trying to get through the hardest years of her life. I'll basically just be writing about my days-the struggles and triumphs-and answer ANY questions that anyone might have :)

Today I had a fabulously boring day. That's usually how it is in the summer, because I can't drive yet (203 days! Yes, I'm counting down), so I just hang out around the house a lot. I woke up and Mom was already in the kitchen making breakfast. I woke up at 8:21 today, which is unusually late for me. My parents make all of my food and watch me eat it to make sure I'm getting everything the nutritionist put on my food plan. So I ate breakfast, then I poked around in my jammies for a little, checked the food blogs (Katheats, Eat Live Run, and Eat Like Me-my favorites!), and had an Ensure (blegh, I know) and a peach because I had more of an appetite today. No idea why. I lazed around some more until lunch, which my mom packed and left in the fridge for me...turkey and cheese sandwich, peanut butter and apples. I ate my lunch and felt comfortable and full like usually. But then...I had a Cliff Bar. THEN I had an Oreo Cakester, two fruit roll ups, a granola bar, a protein bar, marshmallows (WHICH I HATE), and some crackers. What is the meaning of this?! I seriously have no idea where that came from. My dad got home from musky fishing and I told him about it, and he told me not to worry, a little binge every now and then won't hurt you. I knew it would be okay, but of course I felt disgusting and would rather just have not looked at food for the rest of the day. I watched 27 Dresses, one of my favorites, with my sister and then had to eat dinner. We had garlic chicken, pasta, veggies, and garlic bread with butter. And of course I had pineapple juice. After cleaning up, I went for a walk around my block with iPod. I usually walk for about 30 minutes a day 1. because that's all I am allowed, and 2. because I found it to be a HUGE stress reliever. Now I'm just hanging out for the rest of the night, and I'll have 1/2 cup mixed nuts later. Maybe I should post pictures of my meals so you guys don't have to read all of it?! By the way, I'm trying to gain weight right now. Ugh. The doctor wants me somewhere between 120 and 125. I had reached my goal before, but then lost some again, so now we are trying to get back on track. And I'm SO close! They don't tell me my weight but my mom says I'm almost there! Hopefully tomorrow (weigh day) will go well. Wish me luck!