Trying to live life...with a stupid ED in my head!

July 29, 2008

OMGZ, First Post!

Hi everyone! Welcome to Hey Ed, Screw You! This is a place where people with eating disorders can come, talk about things, get rid of frustration, ask questions, anything you want. It doesn't even have to be about eating disorders, because I am just a normal (well, for the most part) teenager who is trying to get through the hardest years of her life. I'll basically just be writing about my days-the struggles and triumphs-and answer ANY questions that anyone might have :)

Today I had a fabulously boring day. That's usually how it is in the summer, because I can't drive yet (203 days! Yes, I'm counting down), so I just hang out around the house a lot. I woke up and Mom was already in the kitchen making breakfast. I woke up at 8:21 today, which is unusually late for me. My parents make all of my food and watch me eat it to make sure I'm getting everything the nutritionist put on my food plan. So I ate breakfast, then I poked around in my jammies for a little, checked the food blogs (Katheats, Eat Live Run, and Eat Like Me-my favorites!), and had an Ensure (blegh, I know) and a peach because I had more of an appetite today. No idea why. I lazed around some more until lunch, which my mom packed and left in the fridge for me...turkey and cheese sandwich, peanut butter and apples. I ate my lunch and felt comfortable and full like usually. But then...I had a Cliff Bar. THEN I had an Oreo Cakester, two fruit roll ups, a granola bar, a protein bar, marshmallows (WHICH I HATE), and some crackers. What is the meaning of this?! I seriously have no idea where that came from. My dad got home from musky fishing and I told him about it, and he told me not to worry, a little binge every now and then won't hurt you. I knew it would be okay, but of course I felt disgusting and would rather just have not looked at food for the rest of the day. I watched 27 Dresses, one of my favorites, with my sister and then had to eat dinner. We had garlic chicken, pasta, veggies, and garlic bread with butter. And of course I had pineapple juice. After cleaning up, I went for a walk around my block with iPod. I usually walk for about 30 minutes a day 1. because that's all I am allowed, and 2. because I found it to be a HUGE stress reliever. Now I'm just hanging out for the rest of the night, and I'll have 1/2 cup mixed nuts later. Maybe I should post pictures of my meals so you guys don't have to read all of it?! By the way, I'm trying to gain weight right now. Ugh. The doctor wants me somewhere between 120 and 125. I had reached my goal before, but then lost some again, so now we are trying to get back on track. And I'm SO close! They don't tell me my weight but my mom says I'm almost there! Hopefully tomorrow (weigh day) will go well. Wish me luck!