Trying to live life...with a stupid ED in my head!

August 01, 2008

Hi everyone :)
I know that some of you might be surprised that I told my entire dance team about my eating disorder, but it was something I though people needed to know about me. As we all know, EDs can come along with a lot of other things like anxiety, obsession, and moodiness. I wanted to make sure people knew why I am the way I am, and that its nothing against them. Everyone knows about my problem-friends, teachers, my coach, my entire family. To be honest, it is kind of embarassing sometimes when I have to depend on my parents to make me food at my age, and when I freak out if my plans don't go exactly according to schedule. People who know me know that I have always been a perfectionist, but I wasn't THAT perfect.
Onto the discussion...
First I went to a counselor who specialized in eating disorders (mostly in adults), and we felt that she didn't help me, she just blamed everything on my mom, which at that time was my mindset too. Next I went to a psychologist, who I loved, and I stayed with her for a while. My parents weren't very impressed with her because she was always getting appointment times mixed up, and making promises she didn't keep. Now, I'm set up to go to therapy with my nutrionist who is also a therapist. I don't LOVE her personality, but I'll try and see how things work out.

This is a question I've been wanting to ask because I'm really curious about it...
Has anyone been an actual place to recover from an ED? (not sure what that's called)
Have a GREAT day!

6 comments:

Alyssa said...

I have never had to stay in a treatment center or have had to be hospitalized. I know the treatment place I got to is part of a hospital, but they are currently building a whole new building a mile or so away from the hospital that is just for eds. It is going to have a little over twenty beds for people who have to be inpatient, plus all of the other treatment programs too. I know a few people who have been in residential treatment programs in which they live at a house that is for a certain amount of people with eds, but obviously nutritionists and stuff live there as well. I also know there are a couple of ranches that are treatment programs for people with eds too.

samswimchick said...

My mom and I talked about sending me off. But in the end, we dicided it would just make things worse. There was some documentary on T.V. called "Thin." Have you watched it? It shows how girls there often work together to fight the system. It didn't look like any of them were really ready or wanting to recover. I don't think anyone can be forced to recover. You have to make the change yourself.

samswimchick said...

P.S. I spelled "decided" incorrectly. And, I can see how telling the people around you would really help. I just don't even know how I'd go about doing that. =/

Alyssa said...

Wasn't thin an HBO documentary? I believe the woman in that documentary died of suicide not long ago.

jenngirl said...

I was almost sent to a treatment center, and probably would have gone to the hospital had I not PROMISED that I would let my mom be in charge of my food at the beginning of recovery. I just wanted to get better so badly. Don't feel weird about having your parents fix your food at our age, I truly believe that's the disabling part of EDs. I am 20 years old, and when I came home from school in Dec '07, my mom was actually fixing my plates because I couldn't physically pile food on there yet. I'm doing so much better on that account, you eventually get there, but the most important/hardest part of recovery is having patience.

Anonymous said...

I was in an inpatient treatment program at my local hospital...At the time I seriously needed the program because I was dangerously underweight and the doctor that I was seeing told me that I wouldn't survive without it. However, I don't know how much the program actually helped me. Before going into the program, I had never struggled with binge eating, only restricting. But when I was in the program, I had to eat so much and gain weight at such a rapid pace. It was very stressful and painful, and when I left the program I immediately started binge eating. I gained about 20 pounds more than I actually needed to, and then I started restricting and lost another 40. My weight has just been going up and down since then and I'm still struggling with anxiety, depression, self hatred, etc. So in general, I'm not sure how effective inpatient programs are- I know that so far nothing has really helped me recover completely. I have made some improvements though and I am still seeing therapists and nutritionists. Its good to hear that other people are in the same boat and arent giving up the fight.